Do Your Friend's Opinions Matter When It Comes To Dating?
Published on 3 Mar 2018
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If you have to ask the question Do my friends opinions matter when it comes to dating its definitely a subject worth exploring. As Londons #1 speed dating hosts, Dateinadash ditch the dirt on this matter and see what really matters when it comes to the opinions of your friends.
Wed say that a true friend will hate to see you mistreated or upset over a relationship. At the same time, theyll also dislike seeing someone that isnt that into you while you put them up on a pedestal. Because at the end of the day, in a functioning and successful relationship, the feelings should be mutual and the good times should overweigh the bad.
But, in some instances, friends will not have your best interests at heart and become more of an issue than the relationship in hand. In such instances, evaluating your friendship you and your friend share is an important step. In the majority of cases though, what your friends think about your relationship is of importance to both men and women across the globe. So, if you believe your friend truly has your back and ultimately wants the best for you, its probably best to give a thought to what he or she says before making any rash decisions.
Understand the context of their opinion
If you believe your friends opinions are coming from a place of jealousy or hurt, address those feelings rather than the opinions themselves. If you think your friend may be hurt that you havent been spending as much time with them, or that they are jealous of the time youre spending with your love interest, make a larger effort to involve them in plans and catch up as soon as you have some free time. In some instances, your friends may not actually dislike your love interest but have feelings that theyve stolen you from them. It may well sound silly to you, but they could genuinely feel excluded from your life.
One thing we suggest here is not to simply drop your friends and spend all of your free time with you partner. Life is about compromise and it is important to spend time with your friends as well as your partner. It has to be a balance. Be sure to make time to hang out with your friends without your girlfriend/ boyfriend being there. This will reduce jealousy but also get the balance right. Its true when you are young, but can be true as we get older too- partners may come and go, but close friends may be forever.
If a friend is truly important to you, make sure to tell them how much you appreciate them and give them a space to voice how they feels if they are hurt. We would say, if you are genuine friends with someone, a new love interest isnt worth losing an incredible friendship over.
Look at the opinion itself- what are they saying?
There is a big difference between an opinion that cannot be ignored and an opinion that doesnt affect you in the way it affects your friend. If your friends have opinions on something trivial such as hairstyle, dress or something else superficial, ignore what they have to say. Maybe your friends dont know your other half very well?
That said, if their opinion is based on something larger, such as they think your partner isnt healthy for you, its always advisable to take note of what they have to say. Its worth thinking things over as a friends warning of a potentially unhealthy relationship isnt something they are taking lightly. Things such as communication can be worked on but things such as extreme jealously or control issues arent things that can be worked on.
If your friend does say something superficial about your love interest, try saying something simple that shows you disagree and then continue to move the conversation further. By quickly changing subjects, it also shows your disinterest in discussing the topic further and keeps the situation from escalating.
True friends have your best interest at heart, and if they are expressing genuine concern about an aspect of your relationship, such as your partners controlling tendencies, that may be a red flag. However, other opinions can afford to be disregarded. Your partners haircut may not be your friends cup of tea, but who cares?!?
Reflect on your own relationship - do their views really matter?
After hearing your friends opinions and taking them into consideration if you feel necessary, it may be time to reflect on your own relationship. Sometimes our feelings can cloud our judgment because we are so caught up in the excitement of it all. If, based on your friends opinions, you begin to have concerns or doubts about your current relationship its probably time to have a big chat.
But, if after hearing what your friends think about your love interest only confirms theyre the person youre meant to be with, you can breathe a sigh of relief knowing that the two biggest loves in your life, your best friends and your partner, love one another just as much as you love them!
True friends have your best interest at heart, and their opinions shouldnt be disregarded, especially if they are on a serious matter. Listen to them with an open heart and understand that they are coming into the conversation with your best interest in mind. If their opinion is on something superficial, dont sweat it. Brush yourself off and hold your head up high.
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