Dating Perspectives - Women Spill The Beans On Men
Published on 7 Mar 2018
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As experts in the world of Speed Dating, Dateinadash are exploring things from the ladies perspective. We share what women are really looking for, and what they wish men would do more often. Take a look at some of the common factors by reading on:
Be who you are, not who you think she wants you to be.
When youre trying to impress someone, it can feel natural to agree with everything they say. But this is a big no, no for many women. Also, give up on pretending to be interested in a topic you really dont care about, because according to women, it can backfire. No matter what women say, the majority of men said they look for an open and honest man to share their time with.
Be yourself and never lie or stretch the truth about anything. We all have imperfections and actions were not proud of but it makes us who we are.
Be open and honest about who are and what you want. Its natural to want to be friendly and accepted, but its more important to be who you are and not mould yourself into the person that you think your love interest wants.
Be honest. Be yourself. There are plenty of women who will like what you have to offer, just not the one that rejected you. So let it go and move on to someone whos better for you.
Women are looking for a trustworthy man who they are attracted to.
Yes, physical attraction is important but more importantly, honesty and trust is the most looked for quality in a man. Other important attributes include a good sense of humour, someone who values family and for some, someone who values faith.
Also, while we are on the topic of whats important well just add that women value manners and cleanliness. So, dress for the occasion, take pride in your appearance and remember your Ps and Qs and you will be off to a good start! Sound similar? Yes, thats because men put a similar focus on what they look for in a woman. See we arent all that different are we?
Just for the record, and from personal experience, a few traits that turn a lot of women off include:
A man with a lack of manners, lack of etiquette, or horrible eating habits.
When a man talks too loud, or has bad table manners.
Keep your cool and dont move too fast.
Everyone on the face of the earth are guilty of getting excited and too carried away about a new relationship or trying to move things along too fast. Many women (ask your mother, sisters and friends) will agree that the importance of slowing things down and reeling things in a bit is a great move. This is especially true in the first few dates- theres no point jumping in feet first as 9 times out of 10 things will go too quickly and fizzle out, or build up so much speed it feels like you derail at some point in the not too distant future.
Try to get to know her first and see if you get along in general and have common interests.
If you want a relationship to last, dont rush into things. Realize that some women need some time to themselves away from a relationship, especially if they are used to being on their own.
Recognize that when you ask a woman out the only thing youve established is that you are interested in her. If you want her to say yes, you need to make it your goal to get her just as interested in you. So be kind, be understanding, and above all be yourself- now and always.
You may be looking for a relationship but if your expectations are too high or if you come on too strong, it will scare a woman away. Just take it slow, be yourself, and see where it goes. As the old saying goes- slow and steady wins the race.
Women want to hear about your hobbies and interests.
Women love to talk. They also want you to ask about how her week has been and how shes spending her time at the weekend. That said, they also want to hear about you and what makes you happy as well. Skip talking about politics or religion- this can be dodgy ground especially right at the start of your interactions. Theyre great things to talk about once youve had a date or two but most women are more interested in getting to know about you in a first conversation.
Wait to bring up the notion of sex.
When it comes to sex, everyone is different and everyone moves at a different pace. It goes without saying that a man should never pressure or push a woman into having sex before shes comfortable (and vice versa), but many of the women we talked to explained that men should wait for the relationship to get more serious before bringing up the subject.
Getting physical is an important part of a romantic relationship. For some people, sex and intimacy dont necessarily come hand in hand, so it may feel natural to have sex and discuss sex sooner. For others, intimacy and trust are a must before anything can get physical. The woman youre with may think of sex differently than you do so adjust your behaviour accordingly. She will be thankful for it and you will show you value her.
Concentrate on getting to know the woman youre with. Make that the priority rather than concentrating on the physical side of a relationship.
If you want a relationship with someone be willing to build a relationship before bringing up the subject of sex. Women may want sex too, but we also want to keep our self-respect and to be able to trust the man we become intimate with.
Overly sexual flirty talk when I just meet a man, makes me uncomfortable and the wall goes right up. Its a defence mechanism.
Be honest about what youre looking for and when its not working out.
This is possibly one of the most important factors of a relationship- communication. Its hard to tell someone you dont like them or to be honest about things that arent working for you. Its uncomfortable and it can be tempting to take the easy way out and avoid confrontation. However, the vast majority of women truly appreciate men who are honest about how theyre feeling. Its better to know someone isnt interested in you, then to feel hopeful about a relationship thats never going to happen. Be straight up but kind. It will be worthwhile all around and youll feel a million times better when youve got things off your chest so dont delay.
State your intentions and see if youre looking for the same thing she is.
The real truth only hurts once. When men lie, it hurts every time we think about the fact that they chose to lie rather than respect us and just tell the truth.
If youre not interested, thats fine. Just say so.
Of course, just like everything in life- speak to the lady in your life and ask for her take on things. When it comes to dating and relationships, there isnt one solid answer, one way to meet people, or even one approach finding the one for you. Listen to what others say, be open-minded, and consider different perspectives. Then try things out for yourself and find what works for you.
Here to help you find love in London
If you are searching for your perfect match and havent yet been successful, dont panic. Grab a ticket to one of our upcoming London singles events or speed dating events in the capital for guaranteed fun.
DateinaDash are Londons #1 speed dating hosts and hold regular events across the city every month. Whats more, if you dont get a match at one of our London speed dating events, well give you a ticket to one of our other events absolutely free of charge as we really believe, theres someone out there for everyone!
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